SINGLE.

I am single as fuck.




Recently I've noticed how sad it is to be associated with the word 'single' and the stigma that's attached to it, and I can tell you right now, it's fucking horrible. Having couples tell you how strong their bond is with one and other, or recalling their trip to some hotel in the quaint village Cuteville, Cuteshire has been really rubbing me the wrong way recently, making me ever so slightly (and unashamedly) bitter. It really isn't their fault though, they are all just trying to share the love and exclaim proudly about how happy they are, that they've found someone worth while, whereas I'm single and haven't made too much of an effort to do anything about it. I refuse to blame myself, however because although I could put down the pizza and go for a run once in a while, or actually go up to that guy I've secretly been gawking at in the SU bar every night and ask him for a drink, I think no, no it really isn't my fault, it's TV and Tinder that's to blame.


I was catching up on my shows, because I'm sad and watch far too many TV shows instead of doing anything practical (okay, now it is starting to sound more like it's my fault), and practically every show - comedy, drama, whatever wet's your whistle, all have a strong love story going on, and I swear to god, episode by episode it depresses me more. Why is it that a cop drama has to have a love triangle or Ray Liotta cheating on his wife with guys my age? (by the way that last one is actually part of that new J-Lo show, Shades Of Blue? it's pretty good) or in a comedy why cant their be laughs without someone realising by the end of the show that they're in to their best mate? Fucking Hollywood shoving another fucking love story down our throat because they know that we'll eat it up like the soppy bastards that we are, why cant they leave us loners alone!


A friend of mine who is in a relationship called me lucky the other day, he told me that he wishes he could flirt with girls again, that he misses the chase. Because that's all we are, us singles, we're all just animals fucking each other and then fucking off, because that's the life we chose! Apart from a few people I know who actually fuck around because they like sex and they like variety, most of us aren't like that. You know what doesn't help people thinking it though? Fucking Tinder. Tinder is the devil. it sucks you in and makes you feel wanted because finally someone has seen my photo, may or may not have read my bio and said 'yeah, i'd fuck him'. Tinder actually takes up a lot of my time now, because I spend hours judging people swiping left and right all night, because why the fuck not. It's made dating a game, a game everybody loses.


How about we just cut the bullshit, and be honest. Turn off the TV and maybe delete Tinder, or just put a photo that actually looks like yourself on there, and talk to people. People you like talking to, who make you laugh, make you smile and want to help you when you're down. In reality, all we can ask for is someone that we like to spend time with, so let's just find that and live in the real world.