SINGLE.

I am single as fuck.




Recently I've noticed how sad it is to be associated with the word 'single' and the stigma that's attached to it, and I can tell you right now, it's fucking horrible. Having couples tell you how strong their bond is with one and other, or recalling their trip to some hotel in the quaint village Cuteville, Cuteshire has been really rubbing me the wrong way recently, making me ever so slightly (and unashamedly) bitter. It really isn't their fault though, they are all just trying to share the love and exclaim proudly about how happy they are, that they've found someone worth while, whereas I'm single and haven't made too much of an effort to do anything about it. I refuse to blame myself, however because although I could put down the pizza and go for a run once in a while, or actually go up to that guy I've secretly been gawking at in the SU bar every night and ask him for a drink, I think no, no it really isn't my fault, it's TV and Tinder that's to blame.


I was catching up on my shows, because I'm sad and watch far too many TV shows instead of doing anything practical (okay, now it is starting to sound more like it's my fault), and practically every show - comedy, drama, whatever wet's your whistle, all have a strong love story going on, and I swear to god, episode by episode it depresses me more. Why is it that a cop drama has to have a love triangle or Ray Liotta cheating on his wife with guys my age? (by the way that last one is actually part of that new J-Lo show, Shades Of Blue? it's pretty good) or in a comedy why cant their be laughs without someone realising by the end of the show that they're in to their best mate? Fucking Hollywood shoving another fucking love story down our throat because they know that we'll eat it up like the soppy bastards that we are, why cant they leave us loners alone!


A friend of mine who is in a relationship called me lucky the other day, he told me that he wishes he could flirt with girls again, that he misses the chase. Because that's all we are, us singles, we're all just animals fucking each other and then fucking off, because that's the life we chose! Apart from a few people I know who actually fuck around because they like sex and they like variety, most of us aren't like that. You know what doesn't help people thinking it though? Fucking Tinder. Tinder is the devil. it sucks you in and makes you feel wanted because finally someone has seen my photo, may or may not have read my bio and said 'yeah, i'd fuck him'. Tinder actually takes up a lot of my time now, because I spend hours judging people swiping left and right all night, because why the fuck not. It's made dating a game, a game everybody loses.


How about we just cut the bullshit, and be honest. Turn off the TV and maybe delete Tinder, or just put a photo that actually looks like yourself on there, and talk to people. People you like talking to, who make you laugh, make you smile and want to help you when you're down. In reality, all we can ask for is someone that we like to spend time with, so let's just find that and live in the real world.

LET'S TALK.

Hello Internet People,

Wow. It feels so weird to type that in for the first time in so, so long.

I've not posted in ages, and I keep telling myself it's because I've been really busy working, that I don't have time to think up an idea of what to post, or even that I've not had time to do anything worth post-able, but if I'm honest with you that's all bullshit. In all honesty, I haven't posted because I couldn't think of anything to write about, literally nothing decent would come to mind. After months of not writing because of it, it has just come to me, write about not being able to write. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm sure you've all heard of writer's block? hitting the brick wall in your mind that's been littered with graffiti saying 'Just give up' and 'at least you tried'. Well it happens to everyone, at least I hear it does, and as you know, the blogger's worst enemy, well hit me hard and took me down. The worst part of not being able to write is that it makes you feel a bit helpless, like you've lost your passion, your drive, your creativity and there's nothing you can do about it. At the end of it all, you're reading this right now aren't you? so you can get over it. all I had to do was rediscover who inspired me in the first place to write, and to make something worth reading, which in all fairness may not be this. This post is one of those things you have to do, it's like a stepping stone back into it, like dipping your toe back into the water. And knowing that fully, I apologise if it ends up being a waste of your time.

Here's what really gets me though, all the effort. People who write on blogs, or record vlogs, or whatever feel a lot of pressure to create something worth viewing, and sometimes that makes things a lot harder. For instance, sometimes, after watching a great film or hearing an amazing song, I want to write a blog post about it. I want to praise it for everything good it's done, from the way it made me think to the way it has been pioneering in some way - but I can't. If you haven't seen the film or heard the song, then how can you understand what I'm talking about? and then why should you read something that you have no view on at all, or any connection to the substance in the post? You see, although I cant see you, blogging isn't a one sided thing, it relies on you guys, to read the posts and react to them in some way, otherwise they're pointless and have no real reason to have been posted in the first place. But nowadays, writing something of substance has to be broader, more like able and relatable so that anyone out there cant read and understand and 'subscribe' to a relationship with the particular blogger's posts. If you make no effort to make it universal, then it's going to be hard to get people to read, to respond and to want you to continue posting. And that's my problem - I'm overthinking it. I need to go back to the old ways of 'top 5's' and 'collabs' instead of not writing purely because I refuse to think of anything like that.

So long story short, I'm sorry for being gone for so long.

Thanks for sticking around guys,
Tom x

THE NOSTALGIA CHALLENGE

Hello Internet People!

I've been thinking about people from my past recently, and I came to the conclusion that there are so many of them that I haven't spoken to in so long, but have missed. There are billions of people in the world but we only meet a few of them, so if you think about it - then why are we so quick to forget and discard the ones we know?

There are people in the world that feel like they don't have any or many friends, and it's sad to think that they have turned themselves into a recluse because of that one thought. No one is ever alone, because there is always someone to help them through, even if they don't think it. It's important to make sure that everyone knows that they aren't alone or abandoned, and by doing this, it will hopefully aim to help people who are depressed and in the dark see a little bit of light again.

That's why I want everyone that read's this to do the Nostalgia  Challenge and look back through their messages on social media and their phones, and look back at the people who you used to talk to, pick as many as you want and spark up a conversation. The chances are there are at least one person that you were friends with that you haven't spoken to in a while, and by talking again, you have the change to rebuild what you had. The entire aim of this is to fight loneliness and depression caused by it, but to also bring people together again.

If you read this and go through with the challenge or you want to talk about it, tweet me at @tejrogers on twitter or use #nostalgiachallenge and who knows, maybe we can get a few more people getting involved and do some good. I know this is different to what I normally write about but I just wanted to get the point out there!

As always, i love you guys and thanks for reading! x