STRANGE LOOKS, TRXYE & GIGS

Hello Internet People!

For the last few weeks, whenever I've left my house people have looked at me like I'm some sort of alien. I mean it's so strange, i feel like i have shit on my face or something, because all the friendly looks have been replaced with people looking repulsed by me when i walk by. The question is, what have i done differently to deserve this? Admittedly, i have gained weight recently which was pointed out on a night out the other day when someone called me fat (how charming of them), but otherwise not much has changed. My hair's a bit longer, and I've had a bit of an acne breakout, but nothing to warrant people looking at me like I'm dirt. It's a bit of a downer so I've just gotten into the routine of just staring at the floor with my headphones on whenever i go anywhere now. Is it just me or have strangers become arseholes recently? i don't know.

Anyway, if you watch any of the bigger Youtubers, you'll have seen that they're all raving about TRXYE recently. TRXYE is the latest offering, and first on a label from Australian/South African Youtube star, Troye Sivan, and it's actually pretty bloody catchy. The first single from the EP - Happy Little Pill came out a few weeks back and it's still stuck in my head. His new modern electronic pop style has seemed to work in his favour and the whole thing went blew up in no time. You've got to hand it to him, he's worked hard to reach this point and it seems to be working in his favour. Good job Troye!

Also, speaking of music, I had a gig on Saturday, and it went very well... surprisingly. On the morning of the gig, i got a call from my synth player, who told me that our new bassist, Will, had been admitted into hospital and he wouldn't be out in time for the gig. Basically we had two options - cancel or run around like a mad man trying to find someone to step in. Luckily a friend of ours was able to stand in at the last minute and save our skin. Although we only had a few hours to prepare it all went pretty smoothly and the reviews were favourable, and i was given praise on my vocal performance so i was buzzed. It was a good night, well apart from the whole Will being ill, and something else that I'd rather not talk about happening.

If you fancy listening to us click here for our Youtube channel!

PERSON OF THE WEEK

I've been wanting to say this person for a while so this time, my person of the week is Hazel Hayes!

Hazel is a Youtuber that is close with people like Jack Howard and Louise Pentland (Sprinkle of glitter). She's quirky and happy, and sometimes you just need a bit of happy Irish people in your life. On her channel, ChewingSand, she does the occasional daily vlog and a series she calls Tipsy Talk where she has a drink with a different youtuber each week and talks about any shit they can think of - it's great. go and check her out and subscribe by clicking here.

https://www.youtube.com/user/ChewingSand

I know this post is a little random but i had a few things i fancied talking about so i thought I'd just stick them all together on this post! thanks for reading by the way, love you guys! x

SO, LET ME EXPLAIN...

Hello Internet People!

I've been gone for such a long time now, and I know that I've said in the past that when I'm gone for a while I'm not going to bother explaining myself any more but fuck it, this time you deserve an answer. Let me clear a few things up - no i am not dead and no i haven't quit blogging, I've just had a few things going on recently. If you read my last post, you'll have noticed that I've been a bit all over the place recently, and i knew that the the quality of my posts were just getting worse, so it was clear that i needed to take a break from this and come back to it when i felt that i was ready to continue again. The pressure i put myself under with the band and this and a whole bucket load of other shit just made me crumble and now i feel like I'm getting myself back on track, so as you can see (obviously), I'm back, bitches.

Basically, the plan is that i will post as often as a can from now on, and that could mean that its 1-5 times a week or twice a fortnight. Also, for now I'm going back to basics and I'm putting off my theme series, which if you didn't know, i did a two part, two post week with a different theme each time, which i don't want to get back into and panic to think of a theme for one week because my original plan had fallen through for it. I will, however still do the Rant Weeks and maybe the occasional crossover week with another blogger. The theme series will continue in the future but not until i get my shit together with everything else. Also, hopefully soon I'll change the look of my shitty, shitty looking blog design but I'll have to get some help with that, even though I actually have a qualification in graphic design because I'm not only lazy but I've learnt that generally, other people do things better than i can.

Also, I'm considering making the Person of the week segment in my posts separate and just a mini mid week post for y'all, but it's really up to you. This week's will be below still though, because I'm lazy as fuck. While I'm on the subject of mini posts, I was thinking of bringing back Song of the week, but making it monthly instead. Let me know what you think!

The reason I've posted this big, boring explanation is because you guys are what makes this blog, you make me want to post and you make it easier for me to want to improve it. This is why I want your input because its not just my blog, it's ours, and you have as much say as I do. If there weren't you people to read the crap I come up with, it'd just be me and a very odd online diary thing.

PERSON OF THE WEEK

This week, i have to say it needs to be Andrew Lowe!

if you don't know andrew it's probably because you don't spend as much time as me watching youtubers. I have a very sad and empty life. Basically Andrew is a youtuber and he's in with the whole Thatsojack, Rebecca Black, Lohanthony and Ricky Dillon crowd. I only recently noticed him and after one video i hit the subscribe button because he is brilliant. He is basically the male Grace Helbig, and I fucking love Grace. he's dry, awkward and sarcastic, and I basically binged on his videos yesterday. I can't get enough, so go and check him out by clicking here

https://www.youtube.com/user/ohheyitsandrew

Love you guys, and I hope my absence hasn't scared you away. Please keep supporting and you can always comment below or talk to me on twitter if you have anything you wanna say! x

Honestly, it all get's a little too much sometimes.

Hello.

It's either all or nothing, isn't it? you can do as much as you can or you can do nothing at all, because when you do things in moderation, bit by bit, it just doesn't seem to tie together so well when it's finished.

when you look back at the year you've had, and where you were at this exact point 12 months before, has anything changed? has everything gotten better - or has it just not happened? the funniest thing, or maybe it's the saddest because I'm not sure anymore, is that I was probably in this same spot, sat in my bedroom with no boyfriend to call, no money to go for a drink and no story to tell. My life has been at a stand still for 12 months, and yeah, I've had some good times and some things that have made me briefly forget my issues in the days behind us, but nothing has really changed.

I don't even know if I'm going to post this because it's not exactly the sort of thing that I'm used to posting about, but I'm at a point where I just need to just let it out, because everything has become just a little too much for me at the moment. not everyone can go through life and ignore their issues and even though I wish that I was one of those people, I'm just not, and its tough.

Around about 12/13 months ago, a very close person to me passed away, and it was really hard to just get up and keep going but I had to, and now it's a year on and getting up and carrying on is getting a little hard. I have too much stress in my life. I have pressure coming from friends, because they rely on me to keep it together and do what they need me to do, and it's the same with my family, only with added pressure that our house may be taken from us. I have a homophobic brother and a dad who's equally as bad and I've tried coping with it but it's just so painful to know you aren't really accepted by two thirds of your family.

I'm incredibly lonely and I have been for a while now, and that's why I watch films all the time and I listen to music like it's the only way I can breath, because without it, I'm just me and I'm alone again, thinking too much into stupid things I've done and just generally over thinking everything. I keep up a whole image of confidence and slight vanity because if I didn't pretend anymore, I'd just be me - an average at best looking guy with a Manc accent and a body I don't like looking at. if someone finds me attractive, I try not to get my hopes up because chances are, they're more into someone else or they'll sober up and realise I wasn't exactly what they wanted. I've always been a romantic and because of all these stupid films I watch to keep me from reality, I end up in pain after someone seems interested and ends up actually not, because I'm too easy let my walls down and care for them when they're too drunk or talk to them when they message after it all, wanting to be friends. it all tears me apart inside.

I'm not writing this because I'm giving up, I'm just writing it because I need to let it out and stop just going about my life making out to people that everything is fine, when it isn't. I'm not depressed, I'm just overwhelmed and I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I know that the only way out is up, but I just need that one push in the right direction to get out of it. People in life have it much worse than me, but at the moment I just feel alone in it all and i need a little help. I know this all sounds like I'm just being stupid or something but take it as you will, because we all have moments like this, and mine just seem to come at the same time.